1. It starts with YOU
The theory behind self-management is that YOU are responsible for the appointments and tasks that you choose to do at any given time. Ok, I hear you, we have all done it or said that you have “no choice” about meeting your client on Thursday evening at 6:30pm, for whatever reason that he or she couldn’t make a more convenient time for ou? Of course I am not suggesting that we only make appointments according to our own schedules however the point here is that we are much more ‘others-focused’ then we are ‘self-focused’.It is our intense over-drive that pushes us to be great at prioritising for our clients and co-workers but not so great at managing ourselves.

2. YOUR Priorities
What happens when we feel out of control- we procrastinate and we work off the adrenaline rush of the last-minute deadlines. We also allow other peoples ‘rush jobs’ to become our own instead of managing their needs within our own schedule.
Plan your day with plenty of time to absorb the achievements of the previous task and clear the head for the next challenge. Plan your week and even your monthly appointments into a schedule that is clear and easy to read. Print off your outlook diary if you have to and stick it front of you so you can clearly see your free time and work load. Taking on everyone else’s workload depletes the time we need to accomplish our real priorities.

3. Where is your FOCUS
By not living in a state of constant Now, Now, Now, you’ll become more focused on your priorities and you won’t play the blame game. Concentrating on important things, NOT urgent things is a key to self-management. When you are stressed over where to start or what activity to begin first, ask yourself the following questions:

• How will doing this assist towards achieving my goals?
• Can I delegate it to someone else?
• Is this REALLY important?
• Does this task fit within my key roles?
• Will this go towards the mastery of my job?

Focus on self –management and your chances are excellent that you will get much more done with much less stress.

Let’s manage YOU in 2007!

Charlie Hunter BA, CPBA & CPVA is an accredited trainer & presenter. She has been coaching high profile personalities in the areas of media, career & personal development for the last 14 years. She can identify the key strategies that you will need to implement for you own successful outcomes. For more information please visit www.leagueoftheirown.com.au

I decided to stand back from the Sonny Bill Williams saga and try to look at his world and the place he must have been in, to make the decision he has made, without wearing the glasses of the NRL and the media and this is what I saw….  

Let’s say this has nothing to do with NRL contracts and how solid they are?  Imagine this has nothing to do with countries stealing our best players?  And let’s, for just a moment, forget the big carrot as his main prize…  Perhaps this is about a young 22yr old, superstar who felt so alone and so trapped and so helpless that he was left with facing the most incredible decision of all which meant leaving it all behind, family, friends, loved ones, fans, career and yes, even team mates, purely so he could survive another day.  I mean haven’t we learnt anything at all by the Andrew Johns story?  Didn’t we listen when one of our most loved players of all time explained how he had been addicted to drugs and partying purely to cope with life as a superstar and not even his closest friends really new how much trouble he was in? Didn’t we listen when he explained what the pressure of society and the price of fame did to him?

I personally think we should be ashamed of ourselves, for being so quick to point a finger at someone so young in his career.  Ask Andrew Johns what he was doing at 22yrs of age to cope with the pressure of being a football star?  Times have changed ladies and gentlemen and we have placed the most amazing sanctions on our best loved superstars and we have forgotten to replace those sanctions with some other form of stress relief.   Ok,  sure ban alcohol and partying but what are they replacing it with?  How else do these young viral males who we urge every week to beef up, play hard and stimulate their testosterone levels  meant to  relieve their weekly pressures if it’s not relaxing and going out like we all do in the normal world come Friday afternoon at the pub.  Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying that alcohol is the way to relieve stress – surely not,  but what I am saying is that we aren’t providing alternatives and when these guys wind themselves up they also need help winding down - its called  being human. Remember that scientific discovery, what comes up must always come down or something like that. Its’ a bit like mountain climbing everyone plans the trip to the summit but over 80% of accidents in mountain climbing are on the way back down, why, because nobody plans for the downtime just the high.  Nobody wants to talk about the psychological issues surrounding ‘Men in sport’ and particularly rugby league. I am faced with this every day – I almost have to whisper what I do and even change my title because ‘counsellor’ is too scary.  It’s easier to disguise a session by saying we are meeting for coffee so its sounds more acceptable. I have been saying for years these boys are only human – we push and push until they can’t take anymore and then we call them morons or idiots and cast them out as a disgrace when they fall.  BUT we don’t provide them with any other form of outlet to relax or be human and happy. 

Everyone has mentioned that it is the lowest act (what Sonny has done)  and how out of character it would be for Sonny to do this?  Isn’t that an alarm bell ringing loudly,  that perhaps it was something much bigger then he wanted to let on?  Perhaps it was the last choice he had for sanity. He is 22 yrs of age and fighting the natural urges of being young, he is constantly told he has the world at his feet but he can’t experience any of it, he has money thrown at him from every angle but he can’t have fun with it, what a strange society we are that we can’t embrace our young superstars and let them be human. Don’t we all make mistakes, don’t we all learn by trial and error I mean isn’t this how we grow as humans.  Sure the people close to him at the time of his departure where embracing him being selfish and doing what was best for number one but maybe even these people didn’t know what Sonny was really running from. 

Have you ever wanted to run away from your life?  Not known how to deal with the hand that life has dealt you?  Would you like to run away from your mortgage or financial pressures? Get out of a marriage or relationship that seems like hell?  Have you ever been in a career that has no options, no alternatives?  Have you ever in your whole life just wanted to climb under the covers and never come out or wish that somehow somewhere you could just disappear and no one would notice?  Perhaps only if you have NEVER experienced this feeling EVER in your life would you be able to point the finger at Sonny and only because you really wouldn’t understand why he has done what he has done.

We don’t know what its like to walk in Sonny’s shoes and we don’t know how he felt when he made the choice that he made, but I would think that a person of Sonny’s character and cultural sanctity it would have to be pretty huge and something that he has to live with as being the better choice from what he had staring right in front of him. 

This isn’t about the NRL nor about contracts – this is about someone crying out for help the only way they know how and I say we should be looking a lot closer at the statement Sonny’s actions  have made rather then worrying about plugging up the holes in the NRL..  

Perhaps we need to ask the question –

Why are the best players with the MOST pressure happy to pack up and leave it all behind?  We say it’s the money because that’s staring us in the face but what if it wasn’t the money at all?  What if it’s because they want to escape the bizarre world we as a society including the media have created for our most loved NRL stars.    Letting them be human is the first step and allowing them to make mistakes without damning them to hell for an eternity might be a start…

When we ask what is killing the game perhaps we should look at ourselves first rather then the game itself….

Charlie Hunter, B.App.Sc. CPBA & CPVA is an accredited Trainer, Presenter & Internationally Accredited Behavioural Analyst.  She has been coaching high profile personalities and elite athletes in the areas of media, career & personal development for the last 18 years.  Charlie is a trained counsellor whose clients are amongst some of the best known personalities, sports professionals and media faces in the country.  She can identify the key strategies that you will need to implement for your own successful outcomes. Charlie uses NLP techniques, personal coaching strategies and believes that listening is the key to successful communication.